February 19, 2012 The headline read:
Four dead in two Washington state avalanches
Then I got word my brother was on the list of lives claimed.
My reaction… Disbelief!
This news comes to me after my brother and I coming to terms with several significant and somewhat devastating losses, our Grandfather Joseph J. Milanoski just last March and shortly after in May, our Father, David, passed away. Now, my Brother, Karl!
3 Generations in less than a year.
What happened? Karl and friends were snowboarding as usual. He is an avid skier and snowboarder for over 30 years. The area he was in is very familiar to him. This particular day there was a lot of fresh snow and he was the first one to make new tracks. What was not obvious to him was the amount of new snow and how the normal path was not so evident. Karl proceeded and at a split second, the whole underneath gave way and it was a cliff, Karl fell 500 to 1000 feet and it is believed that he was killed upon impact. He was not in an avalanche.
One thing about my brother, he was well rounded and loved to be connected to the earth.
Outdoors, hiking, skiing, fishing, boating, camping.
He loved the clean crisp air of the Northwest.
He loved the stillness and peacefulness of the
The crunching of fresh powder below his snowboard. The feel of the sun in a
cloudless blue sky.
It all seems so unreal to me, This morning I picked up my cell phone and saw his number. I felt like I could dial him up and he would answer! That’s the part where you get that feeling in your throat and your eyes tear up and you want to just cry for eternity. There is now a piece of my future that is missing that can never be replaced.
Karl, you are my blood, My brother… I LOVE YOU! The journey is now forever different without you and I will listen with my soul and heart for promptings from you.
Karl was the melding of Dad’s crazy high IQ engineering genius bundled with Mom’s frugal, free spirit creativity
To the T. He was resourceful and creative. He could fix just about anything. He would find a way to utilize the resources he had to make just about anything work. We were raised to believe we could do anything we put our mind to and he surely did. He did what he was passionate about. From Glass Blowing to Wood Craftsman to Auto mechanic. He had amazing creativity and inventiveness with a knack for figuring things out. I think we both share those traits. He could and did master many crafts.
Karl was a great Father and Amirah was the highlight of his life.
Karl lived for Amirah. When she was born, anyone that knew him realized his whole world had changed. It had new meaning! Everytime Karl spoke of Amirah, he would begin to glow, The color in his face would warm up, his voice would be full of energy, excitement, discovery… He loved her with every cell of his being, if you were close to him, you would actually feel it. Even over the phone, any chance he got, he would talk about Amirah and the way he would express the moment would cause you to smile uncontrollably.
I may be a bit numb in light of all this but at my core I believe what I always have. We should live our life as a reflection of what we would like the world to be. Live in the present aware of all that is magnificent and possible. Move and act in a way that contributes to a great life in harmony that provides greater understanding and possibility for the next generation too. Life is the ultimate gift. The best way to honor the giver of your life is to do something great and worthy of this life.
None of us live to our full potential, we have no mechanism to measure that potential simply because you cannot measure unlimited… The limitation you have is the limitation you create by measly attempts to define possibility. Abundance simply exists for those that realize with each discovery, there is a magnitude of doors that open to unrealized possibility, things you didn’t even know to think about (you don’t know what you don’t know). As we grow, possibility simply expands! It is that understanding that often leads me to frustration with people of small mind. Scarcity thinkers. Possibility destroyers. Nay Sayers. Dream Destroyers.
When I think of my brother I think of these things. I am putting into words what he may not have been able to describe, it was intuitive, it was a part of him. He was so patient and loving. He was an observer (vs. judger). He was there to help especially when you needed it, even when no one else would
Scarcity is selfish, Abundance is selfless.
You can begin Abundance path right now. Start with the things you can give and never run out of (realize, that which you unconditionally give will come back in spades). Notice, hateful, envious, angry people get hate, anger and the like back, if you experience those things, simply magnify your good, even when it seems counter-intuitive.! Give love, encouragement, laughter, forgiveness, patience, leadership, knowledge and anything else you want abundance of in your life and you will receive it. Unconditional means, without expectation of return. Hint: It does not always come back from where you gave, it does however magnify! Do it, Because you can, because you care. because that’s the world you want, don’t you?
When we lose someone, we get a strong reminder that in the end, you will not care about much of the worldly stuff, you might even have the privilege to realize that most of things that occupy your thoughts and daily activity are things that have nothing to do with what’s really important. When you discover this, I can only hope you will do something about it! You will most certainly care about the lives you touched and the people you love and care about.
Most often, the people that change the world and create a better place for us all, function from the beliefs I just mentioned. We’re all connected and it is bigger than just you, me etc… It’s US we should think about. Us includes the generations to come. I find myself very challenged to have patience or attention for those that do not operate this way. These are things my brother and I often talked about. We dreamed about ways to create a better place for us all with total peace and how turmoil and suffering is the result of pure greed and scarcity mindset of the masses. Big ideas and dreams I know, it takes a lot of people to agree for that to happen. I’ll do my best and my brothers energy is now with me for the journey too.
No matter what, maximize each chance you get to make sure those you do care about know what they mean to you. Even if you are at odds with them and it is a bit uncomfortable or even awkward… DO IT. Don’t expect any response, if you get one, that’s just icing. All I am saying is that you want to make sure it is known how you feel. You just never know when someone will be gone.
Missing someone is one thing. Knowing you will never see them again on this planet even if you wanted to is another! There is no rewind or do over for life!
I’ll be adding to this over time and you are welcome to leave a comment about Karl here too.
Respectfully, In loving memory of my brother,